Ask Liz
New perspectives for Inspiration and Motivation
by Liz Sterling
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Q. It is pleasurable for me to give, but I have difficulty receiving. Can you help?
F.H., New Jersey
A. Many of us have heard the phrase, “It is better to give than receive,” and have taken it to heart yet we have enormous confusion in this area; some with giving, receiving, or both.
Giving is modeled by our parents, taught in church or synagogue and is an especially familiar role for women who are conditioned to be caregivers. Giving is generally viewed as honorable and praiseworthy.
Some people feel better about themselves when they give. As Walt Whitman said, “When I give, I give to myself.”
Author and spiritual teacher Shakti Gawain said, “Receiving and giving are opposite energies that are inextricably linked together in the natural flow of life, like inhaling and exhaling. If one aspect of that cycle doesn't function, the entire cycle ceases to function and the life force cannot move freely.”
The more common problem is the problem you stated; the inability to truly receive.
Receiving is more difficult for many people simply because of cultural conditioning.
There are a number of other reasons why receiving is difficult.
Receiving, or taking, seems perilously close to selfishness, which has a lot of negative connotations. Also, we have not been taught how to feel comfortable with receiving.
Becoming a gracious receiver allows the giver to feel fulfilled.
Feel worthy of receiving, say thank you and invite yourself to experience the gratitude that comes with truly receiving with grace.
Liz Sterling earned her Master's degree in Counseling and Human Development from Hunter College in NYC. Many know and love Liz from her tenure as the host of the InnerViews radio show, where she interviewed over 2,500 authors, celebrities, scientists, musicians and artists. Liz also served as the spiritual advice columnist for the Sun-Sentinel for more than 2 years.
Liz is feature editor for The Happy Herald and Balance Magazine. She is the co-host of BU Radio on 101.5 LITE FM Miami; pod cast available on her web site: www.AskLiz.com
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